As of April 14, 2007 my 2nd quit is over, I am waiting to start again once I figure out how to do this. It is not an
easy situation.
On this page I would like to give you loads of tips on how to quit smoking but I do see how hard it is and I think if
you are not truly READY you will not be able to do it. It is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my life. It is a sort
of grieving for your old self. EVERYTHING you do in your life is intertwined with smoking. At the beginning I got depressed
thinking of the future vacations, holidays, parties, funerals, work breaks, after meals, telephone chats, waking in the morning,
drinking alcohol, watching others smoke, YOU NAME IT! I told myself DO NOT think of another day, at first I thought of getting
through just each moment, thats what you have to do, take it one day at a time. I also read, read, read. Websites mainly,
they are GREAT! I also took Ellen DeGeneres' advice and read Allen Carrs book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking". It was good
but for me would not have worked if I were not totally ready. And what made me totally ready was this little scenario I keep
playing inside my head: "I go to a doctor, he tells me I have terminal cancer with a certain amount of time to live, I beg
to God for another chance to change things, I say I WILL QUIT to live but He says no, you have had your chance and you cannot
change it now." I still have a chance NOW, smoking is not worth me missing my children grow up. People think that it will
not happen to them, only to "other people". But try hard to imagine it DOES happen to you (and there is a very good chance
it will happen to you) is it worth it? Giving up years of your life for what? I loved smoking. And right now at this moment,
if someone told me they are safe, I would start smoking this second. I do think that attitude will change as my quit time
gets further, I will start seeing them in a new light of the disgusting filth they really are. So I have made the choice it
is just NOT AN OPTION. All smokers I know have died from a smoking related illness, including my precious father in 2004.
He tried throughout the years to quit but could not, I look back at his pictures and he had a cigarette in his hand in every
picture! It is a very bad addiction, do not take it lightly when trying to quit, this is gonna be the fight of your life!
I am still on my journey but it has gotten easier and I am quite shocked about that! So there is HOPE.
Feb. 8, 2007 Hate to say it, I went today, bought a pack of butts and smoked one,
it wasnt a certain thing that made me do it, it was days leading up to it. I got rid of the rest of the pack and said what
am I doing? I enjoyed buying them, opening them, taking one out and lighting it BUT then it felt HORRIBLE to smoke it! I could
feel my lungs hurt, I could feel my heart racing, I got dizzy, it was so different from my last cig. 37 days ago! I know tonight
I will not take another cig. I have told my ANNOYING mind to SHUT UP, I will NOT listen to the arguments, there is no point,
I will NOT smoke. Its OVER.
Feb.
26, 2007~ Thought I would do an update. I am still not smoking and I am feeling okay about it. Today is day 54. The past couple
of weeks the weather was warmer here and I had some very hard moments, the spring weather makes me want to smoke! It's like
I am on a ledge about to jump and I have to keep talking myself down. Smoking is really a slow suicide. Quitnet.com is a real
saver, I go there to read or post, gets me past the urges. It has been getting better, I have not been so crabby and I go
hours without thinking about smoking. I keep looking at my noose charm on my bracelet, that one is my favorite one. I am still
hanging on and I dont want to let go, I would never want to go through that beginning again! I will write again soon.
Here's an interesting website, give it a try: www.livingto100.com, it's a calculator
to let you know how long you will live and gives you advice on how to change your number! Fun!
March
10, 2007-The smoking has been more of a problem for me. I have been practically living on quitnet.com. I need all the support
I can get. The past few days have been so hard, I have been urging a cigarette terribly. They tell me on quitnet that I am
in No Mans Land, its the time from about 30 days to approx. 100 days where you start really junkie thinking. You let your
guard down and then it starts getting really bad. I feel like I am back in the first couple of weeks, that horrible feeling.
I am thinking I need to get back to the mindset of just getting through each minute, hour and day slowly, not thinking ahead.
I am wondering if I will be able to keep this quit, I am trying my hardest. Hanging on by a thread!
Today is ONE month since I have smoked, I cannot believe it. I have to admit the diet and exercise are MUCH easier than
the quitting smoking. I have been struggling much more with smoking. I have good days but I have been having quite a few
days of not being the nicest person to be around. I still have not come to a point of peace with quitting, I still envy others
who are smoking. I watched "Kingpin" with Woody Harrelson and to be funny they showed an older man with his cigarette but
with his oxygen tank and tubing into his nose. For the movie it was funny but it really does show how insane we are with this
addiction! And it added to my wanting to stay quit although this is still VERY hard. I read somewhere that 8 weeks is approx.
the time when peace comes, I will see when that time comes but for now, no peace. I dont really want to smoke but I am waiting
to feel NORMAL, thats my problem. I am still proud to have come this far! Anyone reading this and quitting, thumbs up to
you! Keep it up, theres more of us out here!
Today
is TWO months since I have quit smoking. How can that be? I have been feeling better about it lately. The craves come fewer
and further between. I dont think about it as much. I have noticed, I feel better then the next day I feel crappy so it does
go back and forth but the good days are starting to outweigh the bad days. And I know in my heart I do NOT want to smoke,
it is just too dangerous and it is totally a gamble with my life, thats not something I want to gamble away. There are too
many diseases you can die from, why INVITE cancer into your body? That is just plain nuts! I still have the feeling that if
it was not killing me, I would smoke. I still feel as though I had enjoyed it. But I am not jumping out of skin any more wanting
it. The obession with living DOES have to replace the obession with smoking. I would never feel I am out of the clear since
in 1994 I had quit for 1 1/2 years and went back! That was crazy! I guess I was not ready. Takes many quits. I really dont
see myself going back now, age plays a part in that, after hitting 40, I started feeling mortal. Well I am a happy camper
that today is TWO months! I am starting to feel "normal"!!!
Three
months and I blew it big time. I have been dreading coming on here and writing that. Friday night I had a few beers and smoked
and have been smoking the rest of the weekend. I had probably 4 Saturday and 6 today. I have been beating myself up about
it, my kids have been giving me hell, my quitnet buddies have been very supportive but shocked. All last week I was having
a bad time fighting it and by Friday night after a couple beers, I just let it go. Not that I am blaming the beer, in my
head I have been wanting to smoke. How long do I have to keep fighting the urges? When will I get it straight in my head that
I DO NOT need to smoke. This is so hard and I am far from giving up. I am preparing myself for the next battle. For me the
nicotine is the easiest part to get through, the mind games after that are what do me in, it just seems to go on for so long.
3 months and I was still romancing the smokes. I think about smoking 24/7 when I am quit but I think about quitting smoking
24/7 when I am smoking. I am miserable both ways. I might as well be miserable in the healthy choice! I will be quitting
again soon. And I will be here letting you know the quit date. I am trying to not get too attached to the smokes now, to
have to go through the beginning feelings again is gonna be no picnic. The quicker I get quit, the better. If anyone who reads
this is going back and forth like me, please feel free to email to chat about it. I would feel alot better knowing there are
others going through this with me.
